Category Archives: about identity

Why I am not a Coach

But why do I write that on my pages? 

Why do I describe myself like that? Hmmm? Good question… Well, it’s like this:

Coaching is something I do, not something I am.

The difference? Do you know the logical levels according to Dilts? No?

Ok. When I state I AM a coach, I am saying something about my identity. And? I am not what I do…

There is a custom that when someone joins a religion or a sect for that matter, that person also takes on a new name. Why?

I will go further. Don’t worry, on the one hand, I’ll get to the point, on the other hand, I’m all in. 

Let’s say you live with a dog. When you teach this animal to live with you and in your environment, you may sometimes say “no.” And very, very, very firmly important is not to say its name to that. 

So N O T: “NO Albert”, but simply “no”. 

So that the animal does not associate his name with something unpleasant. Otherwise, his name becomes an “anchor”, a link with unpleasant feelings. And the more often you repeat it, the stronger the link becomes. A neural link. Hardwired. And the same thing happens with human beings.

In other words, your name is an anchor for all the things other people have said and written about you. And, of course, what you have thought and said about yourself. And the more emotions are or were linked to these statements, the stronger the link. 

That’s why the strategy of changing names can be enormously constructive. 

And just, I am not a coach. Coaching is something I do. And what I do I can change, who I am is rather fixed. 

I am not Philip Stul. That’s the name I go by, at least so far, in this life. But, it does not define my being, my identity.

My being is significantly broader than my name and vocation.

What do you associate with your name? What kinds of outside communication do you allow? How do you talk to yourself? What feelings do you trigger in yourself about yourself? How often do you do this? Are you aware of it? Are you aware of the consequences?

And do you know that you can change the neuronal pathways again?