Category Archives: about identity

about identity, about karma, about meaning, change, Philips English Coaching Blog, quantum leap, Spirituality

EXPECTED DEATH

Leave a comment

When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing.

Credit for the beautiful words ~ Sarah Kerr, Ritual Healing Practitioner and Death Doula

When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing.

Don’t run out and call the nurse. Don’t pick up the phone. Take a deep breath and be present to the magnitude of the moment.

There’s a grace to being at the bedside of someone you love as they make their transition out of this world. At the moment they take their last breath, there’s an incredible sacredness in the space. The veil between the worlds opens.

We’re so unprepared and untrained in how to deal with death that sometimes a kind of panic response kicks in. “They’re dead!”

We knew they were going to die, so their being dead is not a surprise. It’s not a problem to be solved. It’s very sad, but it’s no cause to panic.

If anything, their death is cause to take a deep breath, to stop, and be really present to what’s happening. If you’re at home, maybe put on the kettle and make a cup of tea.

Sit at the bedside and just be present to the experience in the room. What’s happening for you? What might be happening for them? What other presences are here that might be supporting them on their way? Tune into all the beauty and magic.

Pausing gives your soul a chance to adjust, because no matter how prepared we are, a death is still a shock. If we kick right into “do” mode, and call 911, or call the hospice, we never get a chance to absorb the enormity of the event.

Give yourself five minutes or 10 minutes, or 15 minutes just to be. You’ll never get that time back again if you don’t take it now.

After that, do the smallest thing you can. Call the one person who needs to be called. Engage whatever systems need to be engaged, but engage them at the very most minimal level. Move really, really, really, slowly, because this is a period where it’s easy for body and soul to get separated.

Our bodies can gallop forwards, but sometimes our souls haven’t caught up. If you have an opportunity to be quiet and be present, take it. Accept and acclimatize and adjust to what’s happening. Then, as the train starts rolling, and all the things that happen after a death kick in, you’ll be better prepared.

You won’t get a chance to catch your breath later on. You need to do it now.

Being present in the moments after death is an incredible gift to yourself, it’s a gift to the people you’re with, and it’s a gift to the person who’s just died. They’re just a hair’s breath away. They’re just starting their new journey in the world without a body. If you keep a calm space around their body, and in the room, they’re launched in a more beautiful way. It’s a service to both sides of the veil.

contact me
about hypnosis, about identity, about karma, about meaning, Spirituality

WHEN I WAS 36 YEARS OLD, MY VERY BEST FRIEND DIED

Leave a comment

And she taught me a lot. As my father committed suicide, when I was quite young, I had to occupy myself with this matter of dying quite early and intensely.

So, in the last few weeks of her life in this body, I visited her daily in the hospital, and honestly, it was quite exhausting and horribly sad.

One day I was home preparing my lunch and getting ready to go to the hospital afterward.
I felt very bad. Tired, desperate, angry, miserable…..

And then suddenly she appeared before my inner eye. At first, she was laughing at me, and then, she even became a bit angry.

We have worked so much on our spiritual development,” she told me, “and now you make such a fuss!

And disappeared. My world changed, from one second to the next.

All my bad feelings dissolved and what remained was a relaxed calm.

I went to the hospital and remained in this relaxed mood. I could even exchange jokes with others who were there. I just was present and tried to help her let go, using hypnosis and visualization, as best as I could. And it was the same, on all the following visits.

I was not here the moment she died, but her sister-in-law and her brother were present. They called me immediately, and I was there within 20 minutes.

And I saw that she had not “died” at all. What I saw there, was the body of an old woman. But “she”, her essence, was not there anymore. She had just left her body. That was all.

The manner of death doesn’t matter.

If you have lost someone by suicide, I can assure you, what remains is just a body. When we “die”, we leave it just as we take off our clothes before going to bed. Nothing less, and nothing more.

Have you lost someone by suicide? I offer the appropriate coaching.

contact me
about coaching, about hypnosis, about identity, about manipulation, about problems, change, dehypnosis, Philips English Coaching Blog, quantum leap, successful

WHY ARE YOU WHO YOU ARE?

Leave a comment

A stupid question isn’t it… Genetics and biography. Ok?

Bullsh………

Just for fun’s sake, consider yourself the result of very, very clever brainwashing… Yes.

Just think differently for a few moments.

How could this have happened?

A hint. I used to give little workshops about learning techniques for adults.
I always asked till when it was easy for them to learn, and when it became difficult. 

Think about that for a moment…… exactly, I guess, if you remember, you’ll give the same answer. 
Learning was easy until you started school.

When you just consider this simple fact, you might arrive at the following conclusion: but this is completely absurd!!And, yes, it is, indeed.
A human brain is a learning machine. To stop that, one has to do something awfully wrong.

Now, if you did not have enlightened, awakened, conscious parents, in a spiritual sense I mean, they surely did their best. They wanted to allow you to survive and maybe thrive, and maybe even be super successful in our society.

Possibly they succeeded.

I just have a tiny question: at what price? At what terrible price? Especially, if you climbed the corporate ladder, perhaps even broke through a glass ceiling, congratulations by the way, what price did you have to pay.

And, if you are just shaking your head now, and thank you for reading this far at least, you might belong to the 80% who have no conscious awareness about that.

Do you know the story about the work elephants in Thailand? When they are very young, they are chained to a mighty post anchored in the ground. Of course, they try to escape, try to lift the post with their trunk. But, the trunk is too strong, their trunk too weak.
So, after a certain time, they give up. Maybe they try again, but… the same story.

Now after a few years, it doesn’t matter at all, that they could rip out the post easily. They have given up. But have they? If you could ask them, they would say, no of course not, they just are intelligent and HAVE LEARNED, that it is impossible, that they are too weak.

It’s called depending on whom you ask, learning, conditioning, brainwashing, survival, necessity, adapting…… I think you do understand what I am saying there.

And now, I am going to test you…. I am going to repeat something from above:

Now, if you did not have enlightened, awakened, conscious parents, in a spiritual sense I mean, certainly they did their best. They wanted to allow you to survive and maybe thrive, and maybe even be super successful in our society.

Possibly they succeeded.

I just have a tiny question: at what price?

So, my question to you:
are you aware that you may have paid a terrible price?

And here is some good news. You, as we all, were trained. It’s also called a skill set.

That means who you „are“, for the most part, is an expression of habits. Of behavior, which was taught to you with whatever means „necessary“.

But. It’s only behavior. And behavior can be changed. Yep. It can. You may have to work for it, but it’s possible. If you want.

And……… I am here to help you.

about identity, about problems, coaching, dehypnosis, Joy, Philips English Coaching Blog, quantum leap, wealth

How To Be Rich And Still Feel Happy

Leave a comment

You have tons of money. Are you therefore happy? Or you have just a little, or not enough, does that make you unhappy. Or vice versa?

Well…. are you a victim? Or what kind of victim?

Let me tell you a little story:

This super MMA champion, who has never lost a fight, unarmed and dangerous, walks through a deserted street, in the middle of the night.

Suddenly she gets attacked by an inexperienced young man, a robber, about 13 years old, armed with a vicious knife, which he inexpertly wields….

Are you quite clear about how this is going to end? 

I am not… and why? 

The MMA champion is unarmed, yes, but very dangerous ONLY, if she applies her fighting skills. 

Which is a conscious or unconscious decision. If she does not, apply her skills, she is just an unarmed human, more or less helpless against a knife.

So, no one is dangerous, happy, or sad just like that.

We all have learned certain skill sets, quite often unconsciously, which we apply in life. And we mistake them for states, which they are not, and typically don’t realize that we DO something, which leads to certain feelings, hormonal changes, and perceptions….

  • we are not our breath, but we breathe
  • we are not our thoughts, but we think
  • we are not our feelings, but we feel
  • we are not happy, but we act in a certain way and define this as „being happy“, we “do happy”
  • we are not sad, but we act in a certain way and define this as „being sad“, we “do sad”

Ring any bells yet?

The challenge is, that most people think, that they don’t have a clue, about what they are doing. The great thing is, I can help you…

When are you going to do something about this?

contact me
about identity, Philips English Coaching Blog

Why I am not a Coach

Leave a comment

But why do I write that on my pages? 

Why do I describe myself like that? Hmmm? Good question… Well, it’s like this:

Coaching is something I do, not something I am.

The difference? Do you know the logical levels according to Dilts? No?

Ok. When I state I AM a coach, I am saying something about my identity. And? I am not what I do…

There is a custom that when someone joins a religion or a sect for that matter, that person also takes on a new name. Why?

I will go further. Don’t worry, on the one hand, I’ll get to the point, on the other hand, I’m all in. 

Let’s say you live with a dog. When you teach this animal to live with you and in your environment, you may sometimes say “no.” And very, very, very firmly important is not to say its name to that. 

So N O T: “NO Albert”, but simply “no”. 

So that the animal does not associate his name with something unpleasant. Otherwise, his name becomes an “anchor”, a link with unpleasant feelings. And the more often you repeat it, the stronger the link becomes. A neural link. Hardwired. And the same thing happens with human beings.

In other words, your name is an anchor for all the things other people have said and written about you. And, of course, what you have thought and said about yourself. And the more emotions are or were linked to these statements, the stronger the link. 

That’s why the strategy of changing names can be enormously constructive. 

And just, I am not a coach. Coaching is something I do. And what I do I can change, who I am is rather fixed. 

I am not Philip Stul. That’s the name I go by, at least so far, in this life. But, it does not define my being, my identity.

My being is significantly broader than my name and vocation.

What do you associate with your name? What kinds of outside communication do you allow? How do you talk to yourself? What feelings do you trigger in yourself about yourself? How often do you do this? Are you aware of it? Are you aware of the consequences?

And do you know that you can change the neuronal pathways again?