Category Archives: Philips English Coaching Blog

Why I am not a Coach

But why do I write that on my pages? 

Why do I describe myself like that? Hmmm? Good question… Well, it’s like this:

Coaching is something I do, not something I am.

The difference? Do you know the logical levels according to Dilts? No?

Ok. When I state I AM a coach, I am saying something about my identity. And? I am not what I do…

There is a custom that when someone joins a religion or a sect for that matter, that person also takes on a new name. Why?

I will go further. Don’t worry, on the one hand, I’ll get to the point, on the other hand, I’m all in. 

Let’s say you live with a dog. When you teach this animal to live with you and in your environment, you may sometimes say “no.” And very, very, very firmly important is not to say its name to that. 

So N O T: “NO Albert”, but simply “no”. 

So that the animal does not associate his name with something unpleasant. Otherwise, his name becomes an “anchor”, a link with unpleasant feelings. And the more often you repeat it, the stronger the link becomes. A neural link. Hardwired. And the same thing happens with human beings.

In other words, your name is an anchor for all the things other people have said and written about you. And, of course, what you have thought and said about yourself. And the more emotions are or were linked to these statements, the stronger the link. 

That’s why the strategy of changing names can be enormously constructive. 

And just, I am not a coach. Coaching is something I do. And what I do I can change, who I am is rather fixed. 

I am not Philip Stul. That’s the name I go by, at least so far, in this life. But, it does not define my being, my identity.

My being is significantly broader than my name and vocation.

What do you associate with your name? What kinds of outside communication do you allow? How do you talk to yourself? What feelings do you trigger in yourself about yourself? How often do you do this? Are you aware of it? Are you aware of the consequences?

And do you know that you can change the neuronal pathways again?

Feedback is useless

Really? The other day I read that feedback only works when it hurts.

That’s interesting. What do I think about it?

Someone is sticking to the principle that there are two kinds of motivation: “towards” and “away from”. True enough, only……

So, let’s look at how we deal with dogs.

There is the principle of positive reinforcement. That is, I respond only, and lovingly when my canine companion does what I want. The rest I ignore.
Since he likes to get affection, he does more of it, and less of what I ignore.

But now if I want to get an aggressive, biting dog, I work with pain and punishment…..

When I work as a supervisor and inflict pain on someone on the team to get them to do the desired action, it works great. In the short term. And as long as I don’t turn my back on that person. And they may have a knife in their hand……

Or, the example of the wonderful Vera F. Birkenbihl. In the parking lot at night. The company is perhaps far from the nearest town. It is raining cats and dogs. My car won’t start. It is 11 p.m. Who I’m sure won’t stop to help me? Three guesses.

And much worse. They say you have to be able to handle pain. Sure. Part of everyday life. So, after I hurt this employee good and proper, I mean it well of course and it’s for her benefit, she goes home. And who does she take her bad feelings out on, who? Exactly. Stress and frustration are enormously contagious. And then on whom do the children and the partner take out their stress again…. just…

And of course, the boss means well, does it for the good of the company. But maybe she is also a little bit psychopathic? And narcissistic? Or a little borderline? Ruthless empathy-free characters are quite desirable in certain boss positions. And it’s just kind of fun to show it to the others.

And it takes a lot more effort to figure out how to positively motivate an employee.
It takes the ability to empathize.
It takes good communication skills.
It takes patience.
And maybe, oh horror, love skills.

In my experience, to the best of my knowledge, if someone thinks feedback has to hurt to be useful, that just says something about poorly developed humanity and leadership. Or well-developed malignancy?

Consider this. If karma existed, and everything came back to us. What might their next lives look like? And don’t hope that by then you’ll be tough enough to just put away constant bad treatment. On the contrary……

Who do you want to be now?
And what about later?
Think about it carefully…

Hypnosis? An ingenious business model?

A completely fictitious example: A company manufactures a product. It creates a huge demand for it using excellent, hypnotic propaganda. So that it may and must bring this product untested on the market.

It delivers the promised benefit only minimally and sometimes even causes severe damage. And now the stroke of genius: the product has no or only a weak effect? So you need more of it! 

Does it harm?  This can’t be, because you need it so badly.

As absurd as these statements seem, the plan works. Why? Because the whole strategy was prepared with professional communication at the highest level.

What does this have to do with hypnosis? 

Every communication is a hypnotic suggestion.
Joking? No, I am not.

The more often it is repeated, the better the suggestion works.
E.g. advertising, election, and government propaganda, etc. E.g., the fictitious company in question would run advertisements for its product on television 24/7 in a certain country. 24/7……

But no, I would notice that!

Yeah, you think so? Ever heard of the subconscious? 

No? Really? Ahhhhhhhh… It is precisely those who think they can control themselves completely with their consciousness and always act completely rationally, who are the best victims. They don’t even know that it would work on them and therefore remain completely oblivious.  Ergo, the ideal victims!

That is the be-all and end-all of such suggestive communication. 

To use it in such a way that people don’t even notice it. 

And the more it works, the more vehemently people will deny it. Wonderful..

The intolerability of the mirror

The – C – a divide that separates the community confronts us with exciting things. What is the difference between people on the two sides? What does an MIT study say about it?

After all, an MIT study showed that there are very similar beings on both sides. There are highly educated, well-trained academics on both sides who research carefully and often from the same sources. And come to different results and conclusions. 

The unbearable thing about this is the mirror. 

If she is so much like me, then surely she must, must, must come to the same conclusions!!!! 


If that is not the case if someone who is so much like me comes to outrageous results and acts accordingly, what does that say about myself?

And then it can become unbearable………

Would you like to get to the bottom of your deep-rooted programmes and patterns? And to decide whether you want to continue to be controlled by them?

About Karma

How exactly is it with this karma? The matter came up through a post on LinkedIn

The question was whether it is the instigators or the performers who reap worse or more bad karma?

There seems to be an “expert opinion” that says it is the doers. Interesting.

My experience shows otherwise. The instigators indirectly cause suffering to those affected. The perpetrators simply do it more directly.

And yes, every being is responsible for its actions.
But the instigators also cause suffering to the perpetrators.
Because they motivate them to do “bad” things.

BUT IS THAT THE RIGHT QUESTION?

When a being is awake/conscious or at least working towards it, something is important above all. What is the direction of its actions? What is the intention behind it?

AND THAT IS THE WAY

The Blog

Why I am not a coach

But why do I write that in my profile? Why do I describe myself like that? Hmmm? Good question… Well, it’s like this:

continue..

Feedback is useless

Really? The other day I read that feedback only works when it hurts.

continue..

The intolerability of the mirror

The – C – a divide that separates the community confronts us with exciting things. What is the difference between people on the two sides? What does an MIT study say about it?

continue..

Hypnosis? An ingenious business model?

A completely fictitious example: A company manufactures a product. It creates a huge demand for it using excellent, hypnotic propaganda. So that it may and must bring this product untested on the market.
Is it possible to do such a thing with hypnosis? Is it allowed at all?

continue..

Karma?

How exactly is it with this karma? The matter came up through a post on LinkedIn
The question was whether it is the instigators or the performers who reap worse or more bad karma?

continue..