Category Archives: Philips English Coaching Blog

From Conflict to Connection: Embracing Our True Nature

In a world designed for peace and love, it’s perplexing to see how often we, as humans, find ourselves embroiled in conflict. Reflecting on this, I realize that our pride in conflicts often stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of our true nature and purpose.

At the core of our existence, we are meant to live in harmony. Our hearts yearn for connection, compassion, and understanding. Yet, we frequently take pride in our disputes, viewing them as victories or necessary battles. Why? Because conflicts can provide a temporary sense of validation, power, and identity. They make us feel significant in a world where we often struggle to find our place.

However, this pride is a mirage. It distracts us from the deeper truth that our greatest strength lies not in our ability to dominate or outwit others, but in our capacity to love and understand. Conflict arises from fear and misunderstanding, while peace and love stem from courage and clarity. When we engage in conflicts, we are often masking our insecurities and fears, rather than addressing them.

As a spiritually oriented coach, I encourage us all to look beyond the immediate gratification of winning an argument or proving a point. True fulfillment comes from fostering connections and building bridges. It comes from embracing our shared humanity and recognizing that every individual we encounter is a mirror reflecting our own potential for love and compassion.

Let’s take a moment to shift our perspective. Instead of taking pride in our conflicts, let’s celebrate our ability to resolve them. Instead of valuing victories over others, let’s value victories over our own egos. Let’s be proud of our capacity for empathy, our willingness to listen, and our commitment to peace.

By doing so, we honor our true nature and pave the way for a world where love, understanding, and harmony are not just ideals, but lived realities. Let’s embrace our shared journey towards peace, and let that be the legacy we leave for future generations.

PeaceOverPride #EmpathyInAction #SpiritualLeadership

SOMEONE WE LOVE VERY MUCH DIES

What gift does this person give us?

Have you ever experienced this? This really difficult situation?

How many things suddenly lose their value? No longer make any sense?

We feel so helpless?

Often the only thing we can do then is simply to be present.

And maybe we then learn that being “really” and “simply” present, for and with the other person, is not so easy and simple in reality. 

And in the moments when we manage to do that, we suddenly realise the enormous power in it.

Perhaps we realise that there are also completely “normal” times when we could practise this. And that these moments are of overwhelming importance.

In such moments we do more for our relationship than when we throw big gifts around, go into grandiose action.

Remember again what was suddenly unimportant at that time. 

I can tell you: if it was unimportant then, it is still unimportant now.

We can fill such things with importance again but would be a pity. 

A pity because this person showed us something. Namely, what is really important, what it is all about in this life.

There is the gift. Accept it.

EXPECTED DEATH

When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing.

Credit for the beautiful words ~ Sarah Kerr, Ritual Healing Practitioner and Death Doula

When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing.

Don’t run out and call the nurse. Don’t pick up the phone. Take a deep breath and be present to the magnitude of the moment.

There’s a grace to being at the bedside of someone you love as they make their transition out of this world. At the moment they take their last breath, there’s an incredible sacredness in the space. The veil between the worlds opens.

We’re so unprepared and untrained in how to deal with death that sometimes a kind of panic response kicks in. “They’re dead!”

We knew they were going to die, so their being dead is not a surprise. It’s not a problem to be solved. It’s very sad, but it’s no cause to panic.

If anything, their death is cause to take a deep breath, to stop, and be really present to what’s happening. If you’re at home, maybe put on the kettle and make a cup of tea.

Sit at the bedside and just be present to the experience in the room. What’s happening for you? What might be happening for them? What other presences are here that might be supporting them on their way? Tune into all the beauty and magic.

Pausing gives your soul a chance to adjust, because no matter how prepared we are, a death is still a shock. If we kick right into “do” mode, and call 911, or call the hospice, we never get a chance to absorb the enormity of the event.

Give yourself five minutes or 10 minutes, or 15 minutes just to be. You’ll never get that time back again if you don’t take it now.

After that, do the smallest thing you can. Call the one person who needs to be called. Engage whatever systems need to be engaged, but engage them at the very most minimal level. Move really, really, really, slowly, because this is a period where it’s easy for body and soul to get separated.

Our bodies can gallop forwards, but sometimes our souls haven’t caught up. If you have an opportunity to be quiet and be present, take it. Accept and acclimatize and adjust to what’s happening. Then, as the train starts rolling, and all the things that happen after a death kick in, you’ll be better prepared.

You won’t get a chance to catch your breath later on. You need to do it now.

Being present in the moments after death is an incredible gift to yourself, it’s a gift to the people you’re with, and it’s a gift to the person who’s just died. They’re just a hair’s breath away. They’re just starting their new journey in the world without a body. If you keep a calm space around their body, and in the room, they’re launched in a more beautiful way. It’s a service to both sides of the veil.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF DYING?

No? Congratulations. You are more awake and aware than many other people.

But you are afraid? Why? Who taught you that? Think about it carefully, it’s worth it.

Who could be interested in the fact that you are afraid of it? Who benefits from it? Who does it give power to?

There are thousands of well-documented reports about death experiences. And if you read them, it becomes very difficult to justify the fear of death.

There is, of course, an enormous opposition to it on the church and scientific side.

Again the question: why should something not be valid that has been experienced by thousands of intelligent, educated people? That is clearly documented and confirmed by many different sources again and again?

The thesis seems to be that only what is approved by a white apron or laboratory coat may be valid.  According to the motto, what must not be, cannot be. Except for surgeons. Sometimes they are a bit more open, as they are precision engineers. But normally, the testimony of “laypeople” just doesn’t count.

Embarrassingly, there are also “experts” who have had such experiences and confirm them. But don’t worry, they don’t count in this case either.

Again the question: cui bono? Who does it serve? Consider how certain things would have gone the last two years if mankind were more awake. Had accepted death as part of our journey. Not associated fear with it. Looked forward to it positively.

What would change in certain sectors of the economy? Who would lose power?

How would we treat each other differently?

Think about it. Talk about it with others. Dare to think in new ways. It’s worth it.

And…. let me know what you have learned.

WHEN I WAS 36 YEARS OLD, MY VERY BEST FRIEND DIED

And she taught me a lot. As my father committed suicide, when I was quite young, I had to occupy myself with this matter of dying quite early and intensely.

So, in the last few weeks of her life in this body, I visited her daily in the hospital, and honestly, it was quite exhausting and horribly sad.

One day I was home preparing my lunch and getting ready to go to the hospital afterward.
I felt very bad. Tired, desperate, angry, miserable…..

And then suddenly she appeared before my inner eye. At first, she was laughing at me, and then, she even became a bit angry.

We have worked so much on our spiritual development,” she told me, “and now you make such a fuss!

And disappeared. My world changed, from one second to the next.

All my bad feelings dissolved and what remained was a relaxed calm.

I went to the hospital and remained in this relaxed mood. I could even exchange jokes with others who were there. I just was present and tried to help her let go, using hypnosis and visualization, as best as I could. And it was the same, on all the following visits.

I was not here the moment she died, but her sister-in-law and her brother were present. They called me immediately, and I was there within 20 minutes.

And I saw that she had not “died” at all. What I saw there, was the body of an old woman. But “she”, her essence, was not there anymore. She had just left her body. That was all.

The manner of death doesn’t matter.

If you have lost someone by suicide, I can assure you, what remains is just a body. When we “die”, we leave it just as we take off our clothes before going to bed. Nothing less, and nothing more.

Have you lost someone by suicide? I offer the appropriate coaching.

DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY

A useful hint….

Had one? A dysfunctional family/childhood I mean? You are not alone, definitely. Sometimes I try to find out, how many people I know, who had a so-called completely normal childhood….

Maybe it’s one of the criteria, according to which I select my circle of more interesting humans? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Intellectually, I can understand, how someone can tell me about being good friends with her mother and father. Or at least just having them… at the age of 40.

40? Emotionally, that’s completely outlandish for me.

I haven’t had a father since I was 8. Tragic? Possibly. Normal? Absolutely, for me. I don’t know anything else. So, how could I miss something unknown to me?

See?

Strange? Yes. Does it give me trouble? Let’s say there were also quite a few other components in this childhood and youth of mine, which I could call, hmmmm ok, let’s just call them intriguing.

Yes, and some of these elements I am still expressing in this process, which we usually call “personality”. And sometimes, that can be quite bothersome, to say the east.

And here’s a helpful hint. Sometimes, when you feel distressed about this, try a very weird thing: forgive yourself for your past.

WHAT??? Yes, I know you were a victim, etc. of course. Just, if some highly intelligent part of you is ready for just a tiny and very useful change, try it: forgive yourself for your past.

And…. let me know how this went!

IN THE DIFFICULT MOMENTS, HOW DO YOU MANAGE?

Is this easy for you to exist in difficult moments?
Are you one of these hardcore beings, who practices tough love on herself?
Do you think, you learn only by criticism?

Too much love and softness make you weak?
To succeed in this world, you cannot show weakness?

Success has its price. Show no helplessness, or the others will gobble you up?

And if you really think so, are you happy with this?

I mean, really happy? Deep down, and when no one can hear or see you,
then I mean, are you really, really happy?

Are you convinced that this is the reason why you are on this planet?
Why you have sensitive beings around you?

If this is really the case, then good luck…. especially in the last moments, that you inhabit this body, and in the first moments after leaving it.

In the moments, when you remember, that you are an eternal soul, who incarnated on this admittedly difficult plant with one main goal.
And this one main goal was to love others and help them. Not tough love. But love.

Maybe then you will also remember this post and ask yourself: why didn’t I listen, to this tiny, shy voice inside myself, who told me, to read this well?

Well, it’s never too late, and I do mean that.

WHY ARE YOU WHO YOU ARE?

A stupid question isn’t it… Genetics and biography. Ok?

Bullsh………

Just for fun’s sake, consider yourself the result of very, very clever brainwashing… Yes.

Just think differently for a few moments.

How could this have happened?

A hint. I used to give little workshops about learning techniques for adults.
I always asked till when it was easy for them to learn, and when it became difficult. 

Think about that for a moment…… exactly, I guess, if you remember, you’ll give the same answer. 
Learning was easy until you started school.

When you just consider this simple fact, you might arrive at the following conclusion: but this is completely absurd!!And, yes, it is, indeed.
A human brain is a learning machine. To stop that, one has to do something awfully wrong.

Now, if you did not have enlightened, awakened, conscious parents, in a spiritual sense I mean, they surely did their best. They wanted to allow you to survive and maybe thrive, and maybe even be super successful in our society.

Possibly they succeeded.

I just have a tiny question: at what price? At what terrible price? Especially, if you climbed the corporate ladder, perhaps even broke through a glass ceiling, congratulations by the way, what price did you have to pay.

And, if you are just shaking your head now, and thank you for reading this far at least, you might belong to the 80% who have no conscious awareness about that.

Do you know the story about the work elephants in Thailand? When they are very young, they are chained to a mighty post anchored in the ground. Of course, they try to escape, try to lift the post with their trunk. But, the trunk is too strong, their trunk too weak.
So, after a certain time, they give up. Maybe they try again, but… the same story.

Now after a few years, it doesn’t matter at all, that they could rip out the post easily. They have given up. But have they? If you could ask them, they would say, no of course not, they just are intelligent and HAVE LEARNED, that it is impossible, that they are too weak.

It’s called depending on whom you ask, learning, conditioning, brainwashing, survival, necessity, adapting…… I think you do understand what I am saying there.

And now, I am going to test you…. I am going to repeat something from above:

Now, if you did not have enlightened, awakened, conscious parents, in a spiritual sense I mean, certainly they did their best. They wanted to allow you to survive and maybe thrive, and maybe even be super successful in our society.

Possibly they succeeded.

I just have a tiny question: at what price?

So, my question to you:
are you aware that you may have paid a terrible price?

And here is some good news. You, as we all, were trained. It’s also called a skill set.

That means who you „are“, for the most part, is an expression of habits. Of behavior, which was taught to you with whatever means „necessary“.

But. It’s only behavior. And behavior can be changed. Yep. It can. You may have to work for it, but it’s possible. If you want.

And……… I am here to help you.

How To Be Rich And Still Feel Happy

You have tons of money. Are you therefore happy? Or you have just a little, or not enough, does that make you unhappy. Or vice versa?

Well…. are you a victim? Or what kind of victim?

Let me tell you a little story:

This super MMA champion, who has never lost a fight, unarmed and dangerous, walks through a deserted street, in the middle of the night.

Suddenly she gets attacked by an inexperienced young man, a robber, about 13 years old, armed with a vicious knife, which he inexpertly wields….

Are you quite clear about how this is going to end? 

I am not… and why? 

The MMA champion is unarmed, yes, but very dangerous ONLY, if she applies her fighting skills. 

Which is a conscious or unconscious decision. If she does not, apply her skills, she is just an unarmed human, more or less helpless against a knife.

So, no one is dangerous, happy, or sad just like that.

We all have learned certain skill sets, quite often unconsciously, which we apply in life. And we mistake them for states, which they are not, and typically don’t realize that we DO something, which leads to certain feelings, hormonal changes, and perceptions….

  • we are not our breath, but we breathe
  • we are not our thoughts, but we think
  • we are not our feelings, but we feel
  • we are not happy, but we act in a certain way and define this as „being happy“, we “do happy”
  • we are not sad, but we act in a certain way and define this as „being sad“, we “do sad”

Ring any bells yet?

The challenge is, that most people think, that they don’t have a clue, about what they are doing. The great thing is, I can help you…

When are you going to do something about this?